Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus

Daft, plain daft. With a few daft but spectacular stunts.

This film is bad on every level. In fact, it's bad on levels hitherto unexplored by mainstream cinema.

What a drag. This grabby-titled disaster flick - splashing across the pond on a tidal wave of chuckly publicity - is a damp squib.

It's beyond incompetent, and it probably also sounds like it's a hoot and a holler as a result. This is not the case.