This is one of those movies whose empty-headed premise is so pure it’s witty: with his insatiable need for excitement, the hero is a perfect stand-in for the fanboys in the audience.

Sure, Crank is totally ridiculous, unbelievable, exhausting, and pretty much just plain stupid, but that's what makes it fun.

Its freneticism ... futilely tries to cover up the ludicrousness of every decision made by its dim characters.

Crank is an action movie about the ridiculous gratuitousness of action movies. Hollywood demands constant sex, action, violence, and motion for its genre fans. Crank takes that to an extreme of literalness.