I honestly have no clue who this film is for. Whoever they are, they're likely to walk out of the theater wanting a refund.

A midnight movie for those fine with dozing off about twenty minutes in, once the charm of its single sentence log-line has worn off.

While directors Jonathan Milott and Cary Murnion want to have their laughs and horror, too, the film is something of a zombie itself: half-alive and bloody, but lacking any heart.

With no sense of purpose, reliance on thin scatological humor and an abundant lack of screenwriting prowess, 'Cooties' turns a great cast of underdogs into lame, annoying cardboard cutouts.