My All American means well, and as a film it isn't without merit; sadly there just isn't enough of it for this inspirational sports story to emerge victorious.

Even those who love inspirational sports films might have to flinch from "My All American" is a movie so square, conservative and humorless that it winds up playing like a brutally straight-faced "South Park" parody of gridiron schmaltz."

American football is played on a rectangle, but movies about it can sure be square.

My All American is precisely that - a snow cone. Sweet, pleasant tasting, but ultimately cold and lacking in substance.