I'd forgotten that Ernie Wise fancied himself as a bit of a crooner, but not for long as his opening title song - "Riv-yerra Touch" sets the cat-sat-mat style of lyrical tone for this really rather ordinary comedy. He and Eric Morecambe are traffic wardens who accidentally try to put a parking ticket on the mother of all British VIPs. They reckon it's best to get out of there and so head to the Cöte d'Azur for an holiday. Before they even get through the douanier, their dilapidated old motor has been marked to be part of an operation to smuggle some valuable jewels out of the country. Paul Stassino ensures that his glamourous sidekick "Claudette" (Suzanne Lloyd) captivates the two gullible Brits and as they settle into their villa, they become easy marks for the criminals. Well that's the plan, anyway, but as the plot develops and the body count mounts (and disappears) the police and the tourists become a little more wise to events - but can they thwart the cunning plans of "le Pirate"? There are fleeting moments when the chemistry between these two men shines through, and there is the odd one-liner to raise a smile, but for the most part this just looked like an excuse for everyone to head to the Med and have an holiday. The scenario is contrived and there's more than a little of the "Carry On" too it, as the score helps reinforce the smuttily unfunny stereotypes of sex and la…

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