The Phantom of the Opera

Deserves to be locked up in a dank, water-filled dungeon and left to molder.

My own reaction to the current version fashioned by Mr. Schumacher is one of pure stupefaction.

The plot is impressively free of anything that does not smell of unpasteurized melodrama.

Gerard Butler’s Phantom isn’t particularly mysterious or menacing; he seems more like a disgruntled opera fan who should be asking for a refund rather than dropping chandeliers on patrons’ heads.