A confounding project that is clearly trying to be for all audiences (it’s weirdly kiddie-oriented, but feels more aimed at adults) and is so bad it ends up being for none.

The aggressively secular and gift-based systems of Red One are almost enough to prompt a moist-eyed holiday wish for more piously churchy seasonal entertainment.

This is the big American blockbuster of the week, and it is absolute crap.

The effort to please all audience quadrants results in something bland, boring, and derivative.