Akira Kurosawa's brilliant samurai movies -- especially 1957's Throne of Blood -- are a visual influence. But the script lacks the dignity that infuses Kurosawa's equally blood-thirsty characters.

Michael Crichton's story is underdeveloped and narrow in range, resulting in a tale more curious for its odd confluence of elements than for their edifying deployment.

At its best, this achieves the beauty and grandeur of a Kurosawa epic -- at its worst, however, it feels like a Python remake of The Vikings.

On paper, that description undoubtedly seems ridiculous. But remember -- what The 13th Warrior does best is make the ridiculous seem (for lack of a better word) "cool."