Because between the inadvertently hilarious and the downright offensive, Pan is a generic mold for a reboot that shares little with the original beyond a handful of proper nouns.

For the most part this is as flimsy as Tinkerbell's wings: big on gossamer sparkle, low on substance.

Wright stages some very colourful set-pieces, but the film-making never takes wing. It doesn't help that the performances are as broad as any you will find in a pantomime at the Hackney Empire.

'Pan' manages to hit more highs and lows than most films (family-friendly or otherwise) but is ultimately ravaged by its narrative senselessness and visual apathy.