Tries unsuccessfully to be that buoyant, rollicking pirate movie we all remember having seen in our youth and which they don't make anymore.

Nate and Hayes is one of the more inexplicable films I've encountered recently. The part I can't explain is: Why did they make it? The movie is a loud, confusing, pointless mess that never seems to make up its mind whether to be a farce or an adventure.

Just when a sequence of competent action appears, yet another scene of comic silliness follows.

A mess, and more to be studied as the sort of thing to avoid than respected as a forgotten gem that needs a new audience. But boy is it ever hard to turn away.