Tin Soldier

Tin Soldier yearns to be a badass weave, but it’s just a mangy merkin.

While it’s technically an action thriller, finding a fitting category for it is a challenge. That’s because this confection is all over the map, attempting to be a little bit of everything but ultimately landing nowhere.

This jumbled, nonsensical action movie feels like it went through a shredder and was then reassembled with tape and glue, with some pieces left behind; the result is nearly unwatchable.

An unmitigated disaster... it feels like something that’s truncated yet still overlong, desperately thrown together from clumps of material that Furman has tried to link together by the addition of those inanely soapy voice-over bursts.