What we are left with is a movie that carefully aims to be all-family entertainment, but you can't imagine any family member particularly wanting to watch it.

This movie has more misfires than hits.

Douglas is zany when he should be restrained, jubilant when he should be serious, tipping his hat so often that jokes that could almost pass for witty instead come across with all the subtlety of the proverbial bull in the china shop.

[T]his new 2003 version is nothing like the original but for the premise and the name.