Its protagonist is good-natured, wholesome, devoid of moral flaws and acutely civic-conscious. But good intentions aren't good enough, and this Shaq attack is too broad and episodic to attract anything other than the most undemanding crowd.

Shaq, meanwhile should bag the movies and work diligently on those freebies. Knees bent, elbow steady, full follow-through... wish.

The Los Angeles Lakers' center, at 7-foot-1, is appealing and breathes much needed large life into a tolerable stinker of a film.

Reliant on a heavy formula of repetition and camp that's more obnoxious than cute.