Ouch

The drollery isn't all that funny.

'Ouch!' is also what you might exclaim as you pinch yourself to stay awake through the film's slow, labored contrivances.

The truly painful Ouch! underestimates viewer agony considerably.

To say that this willfully eccentric, thoroughly distasteful French romantic comedy defies categorization doesn't mean it's in any way original, just that it's neither romantic nor particularly funny.