The Secret Kingdom

The only timepiece you’ll be staring at through this endurance test is the one on your wrist.

The performances – child, adult and pangolin alike – are painfully poor. And the stop-start pacing of the picture is a slog.

Like its title, this film is mostly bland and semi-forgettable – with scenes more than a little familiar from the fantasy back catalogue, adding no real flavour of its own.

Relatively enjoyable, albeit instantly forgettable.