Still, the multicultural cast is fun, the images have a painterly beauty and there are some beguiling comic touches before the story sinks into a swamp of solemn metaphysical glop.

It's a fairy tale that never flies the way it should.

[Perhaps it's] improvised and protracted, nonsensically and unnecessarily, just for the sake of stringing us along. And, maybe, putting us to sleep.

If you watch Lady in the Water, I don’t think you’ll get the feeling that Shyamalan loves his craft. He just loves that he made it.